Royale Blue, With Cheese

Maybe not with cheese, (especially not blue cheese! None for me, thanks) though cheese goes with pretty much everything if you have a good enough imagination, and perhaps a willingness to take a dare.

(Seriously: I can’t think of anything else cleverer than that at the moment. And I’m a little put out that “cleverer” really is a word, and Grammar Nazis don’t like “more clever” instead.)

I’m still feeling blue (royally) and disenchanted with my return to the mundane, and also knowing that I can’t fit in any book writing unless I plan to do it in the shower or in my sleep. Tricksy, both of those options. As it is, I’m sneaking this in at work so one can expect that it will be a little disjointed, at best. I’m also feeling impatient and I think my skill at such a mindset should, at this point, earn me a place in the Guinness Book, or somehow reach a point of mutation by flipping itself inside out, so suddenly impatience becomes patience, and I’ll be full of it. You know: kind of like when a fever breaks or a dam holding back a stampede of kittens erupts, or some other soothing event. I’m waiting for it, impatiently. That, and too many other things. I guess that comes from being a planner and wanting to see some of the terrain in front of me, instead of just constantly whacking the brush immediately in front of me–it’s too easy to chop off critter heads that way and, well–not a fan of that.

Clearly, I’m not focused enough to really write much outside of rambling. Better than nothing, I suppose. I’d love nothing more than to get caught up in daydreams right now, but even some of those–even as they are full of sweet smiles–bring about confusion in their wake. Too many questions, not enough answers. I thought for sure I had reached a point where nothing was going to hold me back from just speaking my mind. If anything, for the sake of identifying closed doors and moving on. When did I slip back into being so rabbit-hearted? In honor of such a phrase:

(I’d totally attend this party, by the way. Just LOOK at those grapes!)

I should remember that when something deeply matters, getting ridiculously timid is a thing for me–which is totally uncalled for. I am not the Lamb–I Am The Knife!! All right, that was over the top. Lion-hearted: that’s where I meant to go. Maybe I should make a note and put it on the wall–or a framed collage. I’m pretty crafty sometimes, and I think I could pull together a decoupage image that would suit. I’d have to do it in my sleep time though, as it permits. If I wake up in the middle of the night again as I did last night, that could be the answer. As the alternative, I think merging crafting and a shower might be a bad idea, so I’ll just skip that one. If I do get around to it, I’ll put it up on one of these:

A WONDERWALLGet it???? To hang the collage on…the one about having a lion heart even though I feel all timid-like when I should just be saying, “HEY! What’s up?!?!” You know: Wonder Wall. “I WONDER when I’m going to Get It! And stop caring when I don’t get the answer I am hoping for, so just freaking speak up!” –On a wall.

Okay. Cracking on.

And now I’m hungry. Feeling blue (in any hue), flustered, impatient, can’t write/daydream, and hungry are never a good combination. T-minus 23 minutes and I can take care of one of those. Were it not for reading homework for History (henceforth referred to as Hx), I’d be daydreaming my brains out during that upcoming hour. There’s still a pretty good chance of some of that happening anyway (…That smile thoughYou’re Killing Me, Smalls!) I hear that Ancient India can do that to a person–bring forth the daydreaming, I mean.

Ganesha: help me.

Image result for ganesha


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